I don't know how many times I have heard, "I'm not tired" and a few minutes later glance over at D who is sound asleep. It used to happen a lot in the car. He would graze "the bumps", I would silently freak out, but calmly ask if I could drive. The answer was always a very strong no...how I even dare question him? One day coming home from the beach he even went-so-far as to blame it on the Jeep. Really? I drove it the day before out to Palm Desert (3 hours away) and it was fine. Now the alignment was so bad it was causing D to swerve. I convinced (looking back probably not so nicely) him to pull over at the next exit and we switched seats.
Sometimes there are days he goes without sleeping at all. When I was working this happened on a weekly basis. He would come to bed with me, toss and turn, return downstairs, and 8-ish hours later softly wake me so I could get ready for work. Most sleepless nights he did at least one thing for the family...clean the kitchen, sweep the downstairs, wash the car. This made it hard for me to feel okay about getting angry. I was appreciative he did something, which didn't happen often. But I was pissed he was awake all night. Especially because I wasn't home during the day to make sure everything was taken care of...mainly C and J.
Between the stress at my job and the stress of not knowing what was going on at home (or knowing and worrying) I quit my job and sent D back into the work force. He had been frequenting this "shop" for some time and was offered a position. He loves the people and loves the industry so it's a perfect match. He hadn't had any sleepless nights for 6 weeks! He did on occasion come to bed late, but he always made it. Until last night. I heard J fussing in her room and the next thing I knew she was standing at my side of the bed. I looked over my shoulder at D's side and it was empty. I thought, "shit, figures it was too good to be true" and pulled J into bed with me.
I don't ever know what triggers the sleeplessness. I don't know if he falls asleep and then has a nightmare and can't go back to sleep. I don't know if he never falls asleep in the first place. All I know is that I don't like sleeping in bed alone. And I don't particularly like having a 3 year old's foot jabbed in my side because a warm body is sometimes better than nobody. So after no sleep last night, and I'm sure many catnaps throughout the day, D is finally asleep...on the couch, five minutes after I asked him if we should go to bed. His reply, "no, why should we?"
The sleep thing drives me crazy.
After many sleepless nights in row or when the weekend arrives he sleeps the full day away. But because he swept, threw in a load of laundry, and washed some dishes during the week he "earned" the right to sleep until noon on Saturday. Like I didn't do crap all week and wouldn't LOVE to sleep in. But breakfast is to be made, dogs need to be let out to go potty, and it's near impossible to convince C and J that it is okay to play nice with each other for an hour so Mommy can sleep in with Daddy...just once.